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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"
* \" |! q$ t e+ W( u- q) r& I" ^From the female side.* u7 z% a1 x9 Q6 m' h/ V
Now here are the rules from the male side.
* a6 `! t, z0 m- {3 YThese are our rules!
! C \4 Q# }# p' F5 \7 lPlease note.. these are all numbered "1"" I+ w! O" o; W( W& _7 C
ON PURPOSE!* v8 d& Y* z2 L! T F. T0 u$ ]
1. Men ARE not mind readers.. T# E' }5 ?7 h. z- y8 y# v; n
( z% K0 g8 Z& P5 M1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
9 ?0 k2 o# i$ M- F5 ]You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.+ f2 z2 |5 h( c6 g9 }
We need it up, you need it down.6 u1 }/ C( S3 ?' t, Z5 d
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.3 G8 {0 H. l2 q. @3 U
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
" s( }. Q5 c& D" O' ]or the changing of the tides., h1 W- N* B [
Let it be.
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- `& G: [7 K; ]8 [0 @( j( L1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
7 v6 e1 o$ |( l) A2 eAnd no, we are never going to think of it that way.
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2 F! ?8 ?2 R! H) k, d1. Crying is blackmail.( J8 D# l- C* h- u
v* b2 W0 ~6 V5 M1. Ask for what you want.$ P! u' G- j+ c9 y; F, G1 p$ k
Let us be clear on this one:& n' A/ h; a( t! e4 x0 B
Subtle hints do not work!
1 K/ ]6 L7 z9 a8 r# rStrong hints do not work!
( K. k3 r R6 q7 X' @! }Obvious hints do not work!
" F: }& ~$ Q; y; \- pJust say it!
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7 W( @' L9 F% I) G1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
& {. }2 G7 Y. v, t7 h# R9 wSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.% O/ l2 Q! j, E
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.1 k3 g( L! B" B2 V% x
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.' c6 E, G8 g& v* O* [; C6 m
Don't ask us.1 i T5 Q" S R% k
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..: S4 D, [8 t, X1 N9 s. g2 y- C
" e3 {1 ]. w1 r) b$ N. \1. You can either ask us to do something: }7 J8 X' }/ S. [8 k
Or tell us how you want it done.
" R0 C+ h. o6 T2 f- ]! CNot both.% ~$ `+ j. J) W1 A' G# N: Q( F3 W
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.8 {. O2 C+ g* h+ A$ [' z4 R
: ?0 h& l& A- H: i8 m! h1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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% k8 y( w+ y/ H" ?& Y1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.' c" y2 k- r$ e" Y4 S3 ~
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.9 z/ n4 x1 w X; K& p5 ]
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.1 i; |6 n! {! B Q
We do that.2 M. \8 S0 _6 d) r; c" p0 a B
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
* }# G5 W* l" G$ lWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.( A' k! K9 S+ w
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
' s& f& d6 U, E; \. F# xor golf.' a. B+ \4 f) g3 n; } h9 @7 @8 P
, A7 @4 l' s8 K# Z1. You have enough clothes.
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1 y7 Y- Y, Z1 b- M% p1. You have too many shoes.
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% w4 K( E" Y L- A1 ~; V: K8 ^1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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; a1 y5 B0 Q' Y! i1. Thank you for reading this., l& g# G' m/ I: W# s5 y
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But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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